{"id":477,"date":"2021-03-23T12:05:53","date_gmt":"2021-03-23T12:05:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/?p=477"},"modified":"2021-03-26T03:07:44","modified_gmt":"2021-03-26T03:07:44","slug":"one-strategy-thatll-make-your-conversations-more-natural","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/one-strategy-thatll-make-your-conversations-more-natural\/","title":{"rendered":"One Strategy That'll Make Your Conversations More Natural"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

You have a new coworker, but he doesn\u2019t speak the local language, so everyone has been too scared to approach him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One day, you decide to overcome your fear of speaking in English<\/a> and strike up a conversation. You prepare a short list of questions to ask, and you start asking them one after another:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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And all of a sudden, you realize you\u2019re out of questions! Now what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Problem<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If something like this has happened to you before, don\u2019t worry \u2014 you\u2019re not alone! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of our students would prepare lists of questions to bring to business lunches with foreign clients. Then they\u2019d go through the questions in the lists one-by-one and wonder why their conversations were so awkward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This problem affects even highly fluent English speakers! For example, a Chinese student<\/a> attending a top university in the US admitted that she didn\u2019t feel comfortable having conversations: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere are times I try very hard to make a conversation... by asking questions or talking a lot by myself, but for some reason, they respond minimally.... Once they find someone else to talk to, their facial expressions suddenly turn joyful and they become talkative.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Notice that the strategies that she tries are \u201casking questions\u201d and \u201ctalking a lot by myself.\u201d This only leads to conversations that look like this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"sharp<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, this sort of \u201czigzagging\u201d between questions and answers doesn\u2019t make for good conversation.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As one of our tutors shared, \u201cI\u2019ve had some students that made me feel like I was being interrogated. They kept asking me questions, and when I responded, they wouldn\u2019t respond to my response. They\u2019d ask another question. It didn\u2019t feel like a conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how can we have a conversation that actually feels like one?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Solution<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The solution is a basic English conversation strategy: comments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Short comments will help our conversation partner see that we have interest in their responses, and they\u2019ll make our conversation look more like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Let\u2019s try applying this strategy to your conversation with David:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This time, you commented on David\u2019s name before asking the next question. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t comment on all names, but when you do have a chance to do this, and you do it well, it can smooth out the conversation. This is one reason many English-speakers compliment people\u2019s names (\u201cWhat a lovely name!\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s continue:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This time, you responded to David\u2019s answer (\u201cI\u2019m from Ireland\u201d) with a comment on how Ireland is a beautiful country. Then, you gave David time to respond to that comment before asking your next question (\u201cWhen did you move here?\u201d). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By breaking up your question with comments and giving David time to respond to your comment, you have put David at ease and allowed him to actually participate in a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s one last example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Notice that this time you moved directly from one question to another: \u201cSo when did you move here?\u201d and then \u201cAnd how long will you stay?\u201d That\u2019s perfectly fine. You don\u2019t have to comment on every response because that may seem a bit forced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You just want to make sure to balance your questions with comments. This way, your conversation will look more like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Notice that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n