{"id":5951,"date":"2026-02-06T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-06T01:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/?p=5951"},"modified":"2026-02-06T01:00:01","modified_gmt":"2026-02-06T01:00:01","slug":"what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/","title":{"rendered":"How to \"Soften\" Your English"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_80 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#What_Does_%E2%80%9CSoftening%E2%80%9D_Mean\" >What Does &#8220;Softening&#8221; Mean?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Softening_Feedback\" >Softening Feedback<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Adding_a_positive_statement\" >Adding a positive statement<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Responding_to_incorrect_answers\" >Responding to incorrect answers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Using_qualifiers\" >Using qualifiers<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Softening_Requests\" >Softening Requests<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Asking_about_ability\" >Asking about ability<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Using_%E2%80%9Cwe%E2%80%9D_instead_of_%E2%80%9Cyou%E2%80%9D\" >Using &#8220;we&#8221; instead of &#8220;you&#8221;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/what-does-it-mean-to-soften-your-language\/#Wrap-up\" >Wrap-up<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>Saying things indirectly is sometimes necessary to protect people's feelings and keep your relationships strong. In situations like these, it's important to know how to make what you say sound softer. This article will introduce several tips to help you do this well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_Does_%E2%80%9CSoftening%E2%80%9D_Mean\"><\/span><strong>What Does &#8220;Softening&#8221; Mean?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You \"soften\" your language when you speak less directly and avoid blaming or judging others. Instead, your communication is more neutral and open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, calling someone <a href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/blog\/language-tips\/16-words-for-describing-different-body-types\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\"overweight\"<\/a> sounds much different than saying they're \"fat.\" In a similar way, telling a coworker, \"I'm not sure I agree\" isn't quite the same as \"No, that's a bad idea.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Softening is useful for sharing opinions, giving feedback and making requests politely. That means it's a helpful tool in many situations. Let's look at some different ways to make our language softer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Softening_Feedback\"><\/span><strong>Softening Feedback<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"610\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/04\/03083247\/shutterstock_1878550048_1-1-1024x610.jpg\" alt=\"A person feeling happy and sad responding to positive and negative feedback\" class=\"wp-image-5954\" srcset=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/04\/03083247\/shutterstock_1878550048_1-1-1024x610.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/04\/03083247\/shutterstock_1878550048_1-1-300x179.jpg 300w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/04\/03083247\/shutterstock_1878550048_1-1-768x457.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Think about these situations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Your partner asks how their cooking tastes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A new employee wants to know what you think of her report.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Your artist friend wants your opinion of his new painting.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>When we're asked for feedback and we only have positive things to say, we can usually speak freely. But when you think something could be better, you'll want to be careful when giving your opinion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most of the time, critical feedback should be given in a way that mentions where someone can improve without discouraging them from trying again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Adding_a_positive_statement\"><\/span><strong>Adding a positive statement<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A great way to soften your feedback is to add a positive statement to lessen the impact of the criticism. Look at the following pairs of examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>This cake is too dry.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>I really like the icing, but<\/strong> I think the cake needs more milk.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The conclusion needs to be improved.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>The introduction and body are great, but<\/strong> the conclusion could be stronger.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The first sentences are a little too direct. The second sentences are softer because they include good points alongside the criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Responding_to_incorrect_answers\"><\/span><strong>Responding to incorrect answers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>No one enjoys being told they're wrong, especially in a direct way. So \"no,\" \"incorrect,\" \"wrong,\" etc. are poor choices to express this. Even adding a simple \"Sorry, but ~\" will soften your language a lot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, there are also other options you can use:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Good guess!<\/strong><em> <\/em>But the correct answer is ~<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>That's close!<\/strong> Actually ~<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Not quite.<\/strong> The answer is ~<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Well, not exactly.<\/strong> It's actually ~<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, with very close friends, you don't have to be so careful. But for other times, a softened correction will help to keep the communication friendly and positive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Using_qualifiers\"><\/span><strong>Using qualifiers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Terms like \"a bit\" and \"a little\" are simple, effective ways to soften language. Let's look at how to use them when expressing your opinion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Your music is too loud.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Excuse me, but<\/strong> your music is <strong>a bit<\/strong><em> <\/em>too loud.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Both statements say the same thing, but the sentence with \"a bit\" doesn't sound as aggressive or judgmental.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can replace \"a bit\" with \"a little\" or \"slightly\" to get the same effect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>This sauce is <strong>a little<\/strong> too spicy. \/ This sauce is <strong>slightly<\/strong><em> <\/em>too spicy.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>The opposite of this is \"not quite ~~ enough.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>This sauce <strong>isn't quite <\/strong>spicy <strong>enough<\/strong>. Add some more seasoning!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Softening_Requests\"><\/span><strong>Softening Requests<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/06\/16073912\/soften_english_2-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"A woman holding out a bowl of vegetables to offer them to someone else sitting at a large dinner table\" class=\"wp-image-11567\" srcset=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/06\/16073912\/soften_english_2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/06\/16073912\/soften_english_2-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/06\/16073912\/soften_english_2-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/06\/16073912\/soften_english_2-420x280.jpg 420w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/06\/16073912\/soften_english_2-840x560.jpg 840w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Just like feedback and opinions, questions and requests can be softened with the right words and phrases. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While adding a simple \"please\" to your request is nice, try some other options for a stronger softening effect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Asking_about_ability\"><\/span>Asking about ability<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>One soft way of making a request is to ask if someone is <em>able<\/em> to do something for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Please take out the garbage.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Can you <\/strong>take out the garbage for me, <strong>please<\/strong>?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Please pass the salt.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Could you<\/strong> pass the salt, <strong>please<\/strong>?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>These requests are basically all the same, but the second examples are much more polite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Using_%E2%80%9Cwe%E2%80%9D_instead_of_%E2%80%9Cyou%E2%80%9D\"><\/span><strong>Using &#8220;we&#8221; instead of &#8220;you&#8221;<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Try using \"we\" and \"let's\" to encourage a feeling of teamwork and shared responsibility. This is especially useful if you don't agree with someone's idea or method.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"unified-block unified-chat-bubble pos-left\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-user\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/02\/22141544\/avatar_5.png\" class=\"unified-chat-bubble-avatar\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-name\">A<\/div><\/div><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-content\"><div class=\"block-align-none\">I want to make this whole section red.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<div class=\"unified-block unified-chat-bubble pos-right\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-user\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/02\/22141554\/avatar_8.png\" class=\"unified-chat-bubble-avatar\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-name\">A<\/div><\/div><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-content\"><div class=\"block-align-none\">How about <strong>we<\/strong> make just this area red and try black for the other part?<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n<div class=\"unified-block unified-chat-bubble pos-left\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-user\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/02\/22141737\/avatar_28.png\" class=\"unified-chat-bubble-avatar\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-name\">A<\/div><\/div><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-content\"><div class=\"block-align-none\">Should I do it all now?<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<div class=\"unified-block unified-chat-bubble pos-right\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-user\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/02\/22141850\/avatar_37.png\" class=\"unified-chat-bubble-avatar\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\"><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-name\">B<\/div><\/div><div class=\"unified-chat-bubble-content\"><div class=\"block-align-none\"><strong>Let's<\/strong> focus on the first part for now. <strong>We'll<\/strong> do the rest later.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Wrap-up\"><\/span><strong>Wrap-up<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are times when using direct, straightforward language is the best choice. But generally, softening what you say will create a friendlier feeling that can help your relationships to stay healthy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The suggestions we've introduced here may seem small, but their effects can be large. If you'd like to practice using them in a real conversation, give them a try in a lesson with an <a href=\"https:\/\/engoo.com\/\"><strong>Engoo<\/strong><\/a> tutor!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Saying things indirectly is sometimes necessary to protect people's feelings and keep your relationships strong. In situations like these, it's important to know how to make what you say sound softer. This article will introduce...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":432,"featured_media":11569,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"unified_meta_tagline_field":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[58,50],"class_list":["post-5951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-language-tips","tag-other-ways-to-say","tag-politeness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to &quot;Soften&quot; Your English | Engoo Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sometimes saying things directly isn&#039;t the best idea. 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