Engoo
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A friend has just invited you to a picnic. Or a birthday party. Or a wedding. But unfortunately, you can’t go or just aren’t interested. What do you say?
Especially if the event is very important to your friend, you'll want to decline their invitation gently to avoid hurting their feelings. So below are five tips for nicely saying “No” to invitations in English.
Someone who wants to invite you to something will probably first ask something like: “What are you doing [tonight, this weekend, etc.]?” This is the “pre-invitation.” For example:
If you know you’re going to be busy and want to avoid an invitation, you can hint that you already have plans.
When saying why you can't accept an invitation, a good strategy is to mention reasons that you cannot control. This shows that you're refusing the invitation because you have to, not because you want to.
These might seem direct, but they're OK if used carefully. It means “Sorry, I can’t (come to your event) and I feel bad,” and it’s usually said in a sad tone and with a disappointed facial expression.
If someone was nice enough to invite you to something, it’s polite to show that you’re interested even if you can’t (or don't want to) go. Here are some ways to do this.
This is best for text messages and emails rather than face-to-face conversations.
If you need to miss something important, it’s best if you can provide reasons why. For example, some of the sentences above mention sickness, business trips, moving and other reasons for not being able to attend something.
However, if the invitation isn’t for a major event, or if you simply prefer not to mention details, you can use one of the following expressions.
Use these phrases to express that even though you won't attend, you want your friend's event to be a success.
“In spirit” means that even if you’re not there physically, you’ll be thinking of the friend who invited you and supporting them through hopes and wishes.
If we accepted every invitation we receive, we'd have little time for ourselves! Luckily, declining politely is easy if you know the correct phrases to use.
For a list of ways to say "No" much more casually, be sure to read "No Way, José!" Other Ways to Say "No". And for more tips on polite English usage, we have a collection of helpful articles you can find here.
Finally, if you'd like practice using any of these phrases with the right tone of voice and facial expressions, book a lesson with an Engoo tutor. They're available any time of day and would be happy to help you!