How to Use "You Know" Like a Native Speaker
If you watch English-language TV or listen to native speakers in a casual conversation, one thing you will definitely hear often is the short phrase "you know." It is so common that most people probably don't realize that they are saying it.
But what exactly does it mean? Does it have a meaning at all?
For English learners, it can be confusing to understand and even more difficult to use. But we can help! This article will explain the many ways "you know" is used and give you tips on how to use it properly yourself. Let's begin.
A note on pronunciation
Before we move on to the meanings, let's briefly explain how "you know" sounds in real conversations.
Because it is used so often, native speakers usually shorten the sounds. Instead of sounding like two separate words, they are pushed together so that it sounds more like "y'know." Keep this in mind when you use it yourself!
So what does “you know” actually mean?
The first thing to know when trying to understand this expression is that it is only part of a larger phrase; the full version is "Do you know what I mean?" However, if you hear it in a natural conversation, you will notice that it often doesn't sound like the speaker is actually asking a question. That's because they probably aren't!
How is it used in real conversations?
"You know" has several uses that depend on the situation. In the examples below, also pay attention to how its position in a sentence can change; it may appear at the beginning, end or even in the middle.
Filler word
The most common usage of "you know" doesn't have any meaning at all. It is a great example of a "filler word." These are words that don't have meaning, but instead are used to fill a silence when the speaker does not know exactly what to say.
As a result, "you know" is similar to "uh" and "um," which you will also hear quite often in casual English conversations.
- We went to, you know, that new restaurant down the street. I forgot what it's called.
Expressing nervousness
Similar to the filler usage above, people often say "you know" when they don't know how to reply to a question or when they are hesitant to give an answer. It's used to give themselves more time to think of a response.
This usage can make the speaker sound as if they are hiding something.
A
Where were you last night?
B
I was, you know, just hanging out with some friends…
Introducing examples
It's often used before giving specific examples.
A
What kind of music do you like?
B
You know, hip hop, jazz and electronic music. A lot of different kinds.
Making a request sound softer
People often use "you know" when they are asking a sensitive question or simply to make a request sound softer.
- I was thinking we could, you know, have dinner together. Are you free this weekend?
Adding emphasis
"You know" can also add emphasis to the final part of a statement. This usage normally has a sarcastic tone, so be careful who you use it with.
- If you weren't sure how to do it, you could've, you know, asked for help.
Making a statement more casual
It's often used to create a casual, friendly feeling in a conversation.
A
What are you doing today?
B
We're just hanging out and playing some video games, you know? Come and join us!
Related article: Essential English Vocabulary for Video Games
Expressing frustration
"You know" is often used a casual way to express that you are annoyed or frustrated about something.
- She can be really difficult to work with sometimes, you know?
“You know what?“
"You know what" is another expression that is common in casual conversations.
Just like "you know," even though it looks like a question, the speaker is not expecting an answer from their conversation partner. Instead, it's commonly used to emphasize an opinion or a decision that the speaker has just made.
- You know what? I'm not going to the movie theater after all; I'm going to watch something at home instead.
Use this carefully, as it can make your statement sound much more direct and strong, as in the example below.
- You know what? Your bad attitude is having a negative effect on the team.
Wrap-up
Even though most native speakers don't think about it, "you know" appears many times in conversations every day. Before you try using it yourself, listen carefully to how fluent speakers use it, and pay attention to examples from films and TV shows.
While using it skillfully will make your English sound much more natural, remember that it is not always appropriate for formal situations. And even if you are speaking casually, using it too much is not good, so choose your spots carefully!
